there’s always a white boy in every class that just talks and talks and talks like timothy stop just write it down!! make a mental note!!! wait till after class and tell ya friends on reddit!!
"College as explained to me in high school" vs. "College as experienced firsthand"
- In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
- Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
- In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
- Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
- In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
- Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
- In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
- Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
- In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
- Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.
In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class. Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it. In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero. Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes. In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses. Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class. In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you. Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours! In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued. Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.
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HIGH SCHOOL
This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
know ourselves.
— HIGH SCHOOL By Blythe Baird (via blythebrooklyn)