Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point
Okay, So , there are three guys on a plane, right, and theyre on this plane, and ok , the plane theyre on, there’s three guys on it. these three guys, right, theyre on this plane, and the plane, theyre on it. os, okay, the guys, all three, are just sitting on this pl
i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before im unable to physically move way
When my parents aren’t home I like to wrap myself in a garbage bag full of Vaseline and pretend to be a fetus
science has proven that:
- blood isf actually green oxygen just turns it red
- clouds DONT EXIST theyre an optical illusion
- dogs can talk, theyre just too shy
- obama can skateboard
- onion;s are fucking disgusting
- youre a shrimp
- everyone is a shrimp
I love celebrity encounters. The best was in a hotel in London.
I was in the lobby and saw Lucy Liu. She’s, like, this tall. She looked up at me and saw a tag sticking out the back of my sweater. She reached up, tucked it in, and said, ‘Now you’re perfect.’
I would die on a battlefield for Lucy Liu.
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