““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with.
The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”
All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone.
And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.”
” — Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech
(via
i-contain-multitudes)
zanabismthere was a 15 year old pakistani boy who was beaten half to death with a baseball bat by two white men in ontario, canada not far from where i go to uni and he had to crawl home and was in surgery for days for his cracked skull and several other injuries and is experiencing serious issues with memory and motor skills now. i literally can’t stop crying because he’s just a kid and when he finally did make it home, he lied to his parents that he “just fell” because he didn’t want to worry them and that’s literally tearing me up inside that this boy was so severely beaten that he almost died and still his foremost concern was not worrying his parents. no one deserves to be attacked like this, but the more i learn about him and how shy and quiet and inward of a kid he is it just fills me with the utmost rage that someone could do this to such a harmless, innocent, completely defenceless kid. idk how demonic these two white men had to be that they could beat anyone, let alone a child, so savagely
Noah Rabbani is an incredible, thoughtful, extremely intelligent and talented young guy. He and his family will have to pocket a lot of the expenses that are not covered by public health insurance for learning aids, physiotherapy and other recovery related costs. please donate to his parents and keep him in your thoughts and prayers.
hellkatsallyThese dudes are fucking legit. They don’t just show up one day in court, either, they actually make friends with the kids and let them know they have a support system and that there are people in the world who care about them and will always have their back. And less important, but also cool, is that the few times a couple of them have come into my cafe, they’ve been super friendly and polite and when I told one of the guys that I noticed his Bikers Against Child Abuse patch and wanted him to know how awesome I thought he was because of it, he got kind of shy and blushed and said, “The kids are the awesome ones, we just let them know they’re allowed to be brave.”
bebinnThe source is long, but so, so good. These men and women are available in 36 states, 24 hours a day to stand guard at home, in court, at school, even if the child has a nightmare. Many of them are survivors of childhood abuse as well, and know what it’s like to feel scared and alone.
In court that day, the judge asked the boy, “Are you afraid?” No, the boy said.
Pipes says the judge seemed surprised, and asked, “Why not?”
The boy glanced at Pipes and the other bikers sitting in the front row, two more standing on each side of the courtroom door, and told the judge, “Because my friends are scarier than he is.”
bee-the-gatekeeperShow me more of people like this, world. I give up on humans too easily.
groovypiratewhere do i sign up for this,i want to be in this gang
bvb-killjoyMy friend told me about this a few years ago when I really needed this. They really are the nicest people in the world and I love them!!
haydengiseThis is fucking amazing. It may be out of character for me to say this but rock on
clatterbaneBikers Against Child Abuse was founded in 1995 by a Native American child psychologist whose ride name is Chief, when he came across a young boy who had been subjected to extreme abuse and was too afraid to leave his house. He called the boy to reach out to him, but the only thing that seemed to interest the child was Chief’s bike. Soon, some 20 bikers went to the boy’s neighborhood and were able to draw him out of his house for the first time in weeks.
Chief’s thesis was that a child who has been abused by an adult can benefit psychologically from the presence of even more intimidating adults that they know are on their side. “When we tell a child they don’t have to be afraid, they believe us,” Arizona biker Pipes told azcentral.com. “When we tell them we will be there for them, they believe us.”(
Article)
More about BACA, from their site
giizhigaateThe fact that a native man started this brings tears to my eyes…
Don’t fight about money in front of your kids.
coloradoqueenThey will feel guilty like it’s their fault and not ask for necessities when they run out.
Don’t fucking do it.
apocalyptic-assassinDon’t use money AGAINST your kids either. Don’t EVER tell them money is tight when it’s not, and they KNOW it’s not. That’s another way for them to not trust you or to feel guilty when asking for anything.
skyscribblesAlso don’t use money as a guilt tactic for them not doing something or not agreeing with you.
“I buy your food and your clothes and this and that and this is how you repay me?”
They didn't ask to be born, you made the choice to have a child and take care of them as a responsible parent. Don’t throw that guilt on them and make them feel like shit over what they couldn’t control.
teenagefrankzhangSo my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog
theactualjensenacklesmy parents do the same thing it’s torture
eviltessmacherAs a parent, you don’t get privacy until you are on your own. My house, my rules, my money, my decision.
Don’t like it?
Too bad.
I am the parent here. I’m not your friend. I’m your father.
ichristygLiterally kids are not your prisoner??? There’s a difference between being protective and being controlling.
a-kir-a“You don’t get privacy until you’re an adult” like what the fuck. You’re one of those piece of shit parents that thinks taking away bedroom doors and making their kids hold sandwich board signs on busy roads is appropriate punishment aren’t you?
Children and teens are still fucking people and still deserve respect. If you can’t even respect your child how do you expect to teach them to respect others?
jewishwitchAS A PARENT YOU DON’T GET PRIVACY UNTIL YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. If I suspect you’re doing drugs or talking to someone way older than you or sneaking out at night, your privacy becomes my business. You’re living under MY roof, and I bought that computer, that phone, and pay for the service that runs it. Sorry, Charlie. It’s my job as a parent to make sure you’re safe and I will exercise the UNALIENABLE right to invade your privacy.
thegodaestheticThe mindset parents have of “my house my rules / I bought you that phonecomputertabletetc so I can go through it” is a huge contributer to anxiety, depression, self harm, and suicide in kids and teens and if anyone is defending, condoning, or practicing that behavior I hope to god they get their kids taken away from them. Nobody deserves to grow up under an iron fist of emotional abuse.
aggressivelytwerkingandersondude it’s one thing to be looking out for your kid and another to be like “privacy doesn’t exist because you are vulnerable and i am in a position of power.
being overprotective of your kid is NOT going to help them. it’s fucking savage.
my mom let my sisters and i do whatever we wanted [obvs within reason] and punished us when we did bad shit and we came out just fine. we’re honest people and nothing fucked us up. my friend with overprotective and invasive parents? she sneaks out for a social life. she can’t let people touch her things without almost crying because her dad would confiscate her things as she was using them to make sure she wasn’t selling drugs or sexting. sometimes she compulsively lies about small things and admits to lying later because she knows it’s was stupid to do it in the first place and she developed OCD from her father reprimanding her for not being clean enough [even though she’s a spotless person] she will have anxiety attacks over being in a messy environment because of the panic her dad put into her while growing up. she’s almost twenty and you know what she did? she asked me to cover for her so she could go on a date. SHE IS TWENTY NEXT MONTH AND ASKED ME TO LIE TO HER PARENTS IF THEY ASKED ME WHERE SHE WAS. she was on a date!! dating! because she was afraid her dad would fucking ground her. the sad part is, he probably would have if he found out! they created an environment of distrust and she has to fight it to be able to hang out with people who weren’t even gonna get her in trouble.
yall wanna be like “privacy doesn’t exist for children and teens. no teens can be trusted.” but fact is, you’re gonna force your kid into being untrustworthy because you think it’s healthy to be controlling.
sorry. you’re a shitty parent. unless you have proof or grounds for violating privacy in order to keep your kid safe, you are abusive and controlling and a sack of shit for having 0 respect for your children.
ghostedarmyMy dad threatens to take my door away from me for having it closed. I’m a seventeen year old female, and he has threatened to take away my door.
2oulle22-loverwhen i was a teenager, i wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone, so my father would hand me a little bag of change and force me to call home from a payphone every single time i left somewhere and again when i arrived at the next place. that means if i went to the mall, i called when i got there. then if i wanted to go across the street to the Walmart i had to call and tell him so. then i had to call again when i got to the Walmart! if i had a bunch of stuff to do, i could go through the entire bag of change in one weekend - if i could even find enough payphones to call him from. his explanation for this lunacy was that he wanted to be able to find me anytime, anywhere. he also liked to randomly show up at my job to make sure i was there, and the first time i spent the night at my best friend’s after i got a car, he drove past the house no less than eight times, and called no less than four times. one of those calls was to ask where i was because my car wasn’t visible from the road - and when i explained the turnaround i was parked in was behind the house, he told me we’d “better not go anywhere or have friends over”. like, what the hell were we going to do? have a drunken orgy while my friend’s grandma was sitting in the next room? we ended up playing chess in the front parlor all night with all the lights on and the curtains open so he could see us if he drove by.
and what, exactly, did i do to deserve this? not a fucking thing. i didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t sneak out, didn’t do drugs, didn’t skip school, nothing. in 13 years of public school, i had one detention - for being late too many times. that’s it. i never did a single thing to make him think i was untrustworthy and i got stalked for it.
when i graduated high school, my father told me if i was going to go to art college on his dime, he was going to have a say in the classes i took and what i did with my free time - he even went so far as to tell me if he ever dropped by the campus, i’d better be in my dorm doing homework or in class, and if i got a grade he didn’t like, he was going to pull me out of school, bring me home, and basically keep me a prisoner with no phone, no tv, no visits with friends until i graduated from the local community college. faced with another four years of stalking and abuse, i moved out and worked in a factory until i could be considered an independent student, then went to the art college i’d always wanted to - on my terms.
my father died last May and i hadn’t talked to him for a year, hadn’t seen him for two, and before that i hadn’t had any communication with him at all for four.
the moral of the story for you “my house, my rules, you don’t get any rights” parents is: stop treating your children like shit or you’re going to die alone, and you’ll deserve it.
leweegee…god, this is too real. i find myself often making up small, unnecessary lies when dealing with others, as long as it will help me avoid conflict or anger. my parents trained that behavior into me by abusing their position of power my entire life, controlling almost every step of it down to the most minute detail. if parents refuse to respect their kids as they would other human beings, the kids will never mirror that in return—funny, since so many parents demand it
fredericksergievskynot to mention that this mentality - which is the dominant one, by the way, which is incredibly disturbing - provides an excuse and convenient coverup for MILLIONS of abusive parents who will never be questioned because people will always assume that “the parent is the boss, and the child is lying and/or deserves this punishment” and look no further
it’s a matter of holding existing power structures over you dependent’s head and that’s just not fucking okay
“you are dependent on me, therefore i get to abuse you and isolate you at will, you are at my mercy” is all i can hear
on multiple occasions, i had my phone taken from me by my father “because i didn’t pay for it so it wasn’t mine” when i was never given the OPTION to pay for it in the first place. he also took it from me to stop me from calling the police or other help more than once when he was physically abusing and threatening my mom, my brother, and myself.
your child is a human being and is entitled to privacy, respect, and agency. they did not ask to be dependent on you; YOU chose to raise them until they were able to become independent.
and aside from that, it’s fucking ridiculous to trust an adult’s word over that of their dependent child on the basis of age. that’s how abuse gets swept under the rug.
parents with potentially or blatantly abusive/manipulative behaviors and expectations regarding their children should be treated with exactly the same amount of suspicion as an abusive partner. they shouldn’t get away with traumatizing their children in their developing stages just because they’re “adults” and they “own” their child.
children are not objects, you do not own them, you are supposed to be supporting and teaching them, but you aren’t allowed to conveniently forget that they’re human beings with exactly as many basic human rights as you have.
boeshanepeninsula(◕‿◕✿) facts about divorce for feminists and MRAs:
- in most (51%) of cases, both parents decided on their own (out of court) that the mother was to receive full custody
- in 29% of custody cases, the decision was made without any third party involvement
- in 91% of cases, the decision for the mother to have custody was made without court involvement
- of those who go to court, 70% of men who seek custody of their child receive it
- of those 70%, 1/3 of the cases cited domestic abuse as part of the reason for divorce
- women who mention having been victims of domestic abuse in court are less likely to receive custody of their children than women who didn’t
i’m tired of seeing posts on feminism by both feminists and MRAs citing “gender bias in custody cases” as a problem we need to solve. women aren’t unfairly receiving custody more often. abusive men are unfairly receiving custody.
the fact is, if my dad had actually attended his court ordered anger management type classes, i would legally have been required to spend a portion of my time with him until i turned 18, even though he beat my mother and abused me.
don’t let anyone make you think that the scale isn’t still tipped toward men in a court of law.
sources: (1) (2)
femmeanddangerousI mean I’ve definitely reblogged this at least seven times before but come on
vashti-livesYeah, custody law is super messed up, primarily because children are, both legally and culturally here in the US, essentially considered to be their parents property.
Parental rights supersede the well being of the child unless there is clear danger of physical damage, which is why neglectful and emotionally abusive parents often retain custody rights. And because western society is so intensely founded on the patriarchy a man’s right to his “property” is considered of higher importance then a woman’s.
(This is also why it’s been so hard to ban conversion therapy for children and teens even though every study ever shows that it’s extremely harmful. It also explains why it’s basically legal to give adopted children away to strangers met on the internet.)
yay america
cointelproskater3where are they getting these throwback ass kids from? why they dress like minor characters from good times?
theafrocentricsSEE BRUH! I SAID THIS! I SAID THAT PIC OF THE BOY WITH THE WATER BOTTLES LOOKS LIKE THE PIC OF THE BOY HUGGING THE COP!
empressrarapoBc it is the same kid. I was reading info on the first pic about how the mom of this boy takes around to purposely to pose for these photos.
brandxYep. The photo’s staged and the child pictured is Devonte Hart, a transracial adoptee whose white adoptive parent uses him as a literal prop in her propaganda. Apparently he really didn’t want to hug the cop in that photo on the left, but his mother forced him into it, that’s why he’s crying.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — white saviors adopters coercing their own child into
unwanted physical contact with an adult stranger who works in the force
that regularly assaults and murders Black people with impunity… that
doesn’t sound like abuse dynamics at all OH WAIT
Tahira Qazi, do not forget the name
kaptaancasillasthis women, the principle of the attacked school in Peshawar, had the chance to run, but she didn’t, she stayed and tried all she could to save her children, the innocent kids in that school. what a price she payed, she was burned alive and the kids were made to watch
shaheed ki jo mout hai, wo qoum ki hayaat hai
pisscordOkay but stop fucking ignoring ADHD/ADD literally no one on this site even touches the subject hell more than half the population doesn’t even think it’s real and that the best way to cure it is to beat your child. Pay more attention to us just because it’s more commen than others doesn’t mean it’s understood
stopheterophobiayour loud, vocal annoyance and disgust towards children is not neutral just because you don’t have/plan on having children. you are still adding to and upholding a culture that allows child abuse to happen. it doesn’t matter if this is your intent or not.
children cannot communicate very well, they don’t know that adults can be wrong, and they don’t understand concepts like abuse. all they know is that they’re hurt and upset, and when this happens their behavior changes. their cries for help are written off, they’re just “crybabies” or “acting out.” abusers know this and use it to their advantage.
