Lots of other folks have been saying this but I figured I’d add some visuals. This one’s in honor of all the aromantic non-ace-spectrum folks.
(Image 1: A circle labeled “asexual spectrum,” containing a smaller circle labeled “aromanticism.” The image is captioned “No.”
Image 2: A circle labeled “asexual spectrum,” overlapping with a different circle, labeled “aromantic spectrum.” The area of overlap is labeled “aro aces.” The image is captioned “Yes.”)
support aromantics
support romance-repulsed aromantics, support aromantics who love fictional romance but not in real life
support asexual aromantics
support allosexual aromantics
support aromantics who are in romantic relationships
support aromantics who’ve never been in one and never will be
support aromantics who are told every day that they will find ‘the one’ and that a successful romance is the most important goal in life
stop leaving aromantics out of your discussions
stop acting like they don’t exist
support aromantics
support all of them
aro person: *talks about close and intimate platonic relationships*
some allo shit: ummm…. i think you mean friendship??????? it’s jUST FRieNDSHip why do you care? stop making it BIG DEAL you’re not special. why are you trying to make you friendhsips SPECIAL it’s not ROMANCE???? just say friends or you’re being a SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. you doN’T NEEd words. don’t you know if you value friendSHIPS you make EVERYTHING in the whole world actually LESS SPECIAL but especially ROMANCE?!???!!!?!
friendly reminder
So, I’ve been working on my resources page and listing as many blogs/resources about aromanticism as I can find. And it makes me really happy, because when I joined Tumblr a year ago there was hardly anything for aro folks, and now there’s so much more. We’ve come a long way in one year and I am proud of you all. <3
I will celebrate with a big fat aromantic linkspam under the cut. This is not a complete list. If you want me to add a new link, or if you want me to take something off the list, just drop me a message.
To be perfectly honest, I’m not an educator for allies. What I mean by that is that there’s these things you can go to and people tell allies how to go from ok allies to great ones, so here’s some aro-specific stuff for alloromantic (not aromantic spectrum) allies.
1. Tell everybody you know about aromantic awareness week. The week isn’t going to work if no one is aware of it, and you, as an ally, likely have a metaphorically louder voice. Especially tell your local lgbt group, help organize an event, etc.
2. Educate yourself. There’s going to be a glossary here, but there are already resources out there you can look for. Google’s your friend. Aromantic people know more about aromanticism than you, so listen to them.
3. Learn what amatonormativity is. It’s “the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship type” (x) and it’s super harmful to aromantic people (as well as anyone else that doesn’t want to form those sorts of relationships). Challenge the idea that romantic partners are “more than friends”, or that people are “just friends”, or that everyone wants to settle down and get married. Challenge the idea that love (because when people say love, they mean romantic love unless they’re qualifying it as otherwise) makes us human
4. Don’t say love when you mean romantic love, and celebrate and recognize other sorts of love.
5. Don’t conflate aromantic and asexual. They have similarities (not experiencing a particular kind of attraction) but are different things. Realize that aros aren’t a subset of aces, and aces aren’t a subset of aros.
6. If you see something that is harmful to aromantic spectrum people, call it out.
7. This isn’t a complete list. There’s regular ally stuff as well, which I haven’t gone over (like don’t speak over people and in general, don’t be awful) and there’s maybe some important aro-specific stuff that I’ve forgotten to put on here.
And I just feel like that’s kinda wrong. Hear me out:
While both are represented by the A in LGBTQIA+, they are there own identities that deserve full attention during an awareness week. Ace Awareness Week is labeled with Asexual, and instead of trying to remind people that Aromantics are also an important and valid identity during this week, where people have to focus on just being heard, Aromantic identities should have a week dedicated to them so that they can share information, stories, connections, and history instead. While we both share the A, we aren’t the same, not in such a way that we should have to share an awareness week. The focus shouldn’t have to be “remember we exist” but instead “Here, learn and grow, and let us be the focus too”.
At least that’s how I feel.
If you think I’m being ignorant or misguided, please, let me know?
Originally I was just going to stick to the tags, but I changed my mind.
For REAL. So much of the marginalization queer people face is due to the choice of partner not so much the method of sex. Asexual visibility is important, but if your idea of ace is just “hetero/homoromantic person who doesn’t want sex” then you’re MISSING SO MUCH OF THE POINT.
Where’s the visibility for the people constantly dodging their parents’ questions about “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?” Where’s the visibility for people who are afraid of friendships with guys/girls because they’ve seen these friendships turn romantic and felt utterly trapped? Where’s the visibility for people BOMBARDED with love stories in every facet of the media, always feeling like it’s some big secret that no one will let them in on?
Where’s the visibility for people who are terrified of growing up to be lonely and isolated, being seen as and feeling like a loser for never finding their “other half”? Where’s that representation?! I like the idea of sex—therefore I’m not asexual—but all of the above are issues I think about every day of my life.
If you’re not actively considering aro and aroace people in your support of asexual visibility, then you’re not supporting asexual visibility. I’m tired of seeing something so vital get so wholly erased.
I made some banners we can pass around; they’re pretty plain, but they should work just as well. I used both the yellow and white flags so everyone could choose which one they want.
dub-em replied to your post “i feel more invisible thinking about being aro than i do thikning…”
I totally feel you. It doesn’t help that a lot of ace literature reads like, “Yeah, aces aren’t interested in sex, but they still like going on dates, cuddling, kissing, and so on~” and I’m just like, “Uh…I don’t like any of those things~???????”
for real like thanks for letting me know youre normal and im not
i feel more invisible thinking about being aro than i do thikning about being ace tbh
Night crowd: alright I made a tumblr for aromantic awareness week, so that means it’s official right? Nov 10th through the 17th. Monday to Monday to get the weekend. Let’s do this. Spread this like wildfire, because I’m done with having zero visibility. Let’s do this.
