im gonna fucking murder the bitch that gave me these issues: SCORPIO, Aquarius, Aries, Leo

uh.. well i guess i should ask someone to deal with them for me: Taurus, cancer, VIRGO

im too cute to have issues lmao: LIBRA, Capricorn, Sagittarius

im gonna pretend i have no issues and then cry myself to sleep bc im so emotionally fucked up haha: GEMINI, Pisces

“why is everyone ignoring me all of the time”
“why do they hate me”
“dude I am such a cool person and I love me”
“im so proud of myself”
“im trash”
“i love my friends”
“did I really just say that”
“no one loves me”
“idc about haters bc im A+ tbqh”
“who am I”

Aries: Funniest rants, trust me; Seems like a badass, but they’re harmless until you seriously piss them off; Do not piss them off, their limits are usually reasonable and they will fight you; Unafraid to act, especially to defend you; Always thinking about what’s coming up next; Great at starting projects they never completely finish; Sincere friends.

Taurus: Big, sweet cow eyes; Honestly just hug them and never let go, it’ll be the best decision you ever make; Warm aura; They’ll embarrass themselves, but it’s endearing instead of cringe-worthy; Calm presence; Naturally reserved, but they will let you in if you genuinely care; Unintentionally funny; Some quality of theirs makes people look up to them.

Gemini: They try so hard, bless their hearts; Cutest clothes; One of you is going to have a crush on the other; Awkward in a way that makes tension disappear; Unintentionally attracts trouble; It doesn’t occur to them to not put up with your shit; Not very considerate to your emotions unless they’re helping you with a specific issue; Super passionate about their fandoms and interests; Someone you can always talk to.

Cancer: Fucking dweebs that will laugh over the most bizarre things; Will always love you; Messy; They genuinely want you to do your best; They deeply care about all of their friends, too; Give great hugs; Take everything personally and fully invest themselves; They might get too wrapped up in something that doesn’t seem important to you, but just be patient with them, they’re worth it.

Leo: Simultaneously the most self-absorbed and caring people; Lucious locks; So intimidating, but it’s all a big, fat lie if you’re friends; Would kill for you; Childish and immature; Can actually be very practical minded; Really wants you to like them, but they’re not going to try hard for your approval; Let them have the last word because they’re going to have it eventually.

Virgo: Sad eyes that know the dark secrets of the world; They don’t feel in control, yet they try to be; Organized and methodical; Outwardly cynical (but they secretly hope for the best); If you meet their standards, consider yourself lucky; Big sister who will always help you with your problems; Feels most comfortable in a dark movie theater; Listen to them because they know what they’re talking about; Surprisingly patient.

Libra: They have a story for everything; Loves to go out with their loved ones; They spend a lot of time thinking over ideas and concepts; DILF; Lifelong friend that you can always turn to; Confidence booster; Can be surprisingly selfish sometimes; Indecisive as fuck; They’re going to win you over before you even realise it; Silently judgemental, but this doesn’t mean they take sides.

Scorpio: 10/10 would bang; Could destroy you effortlessly; Lifelong struggle bus ticket holder; Romantic love is not their strong suit; Darkly magnetic; Shared looks and inside jokes will be abundant when you hang out; Do not fuck with their friends; I repeat: do not fuck with their friends; seriously; avoid this at all costs; These are the type of people who will burn your house down and steal your boyfriend; If you fuck them over, they will cut ties forever, even if they still love you.

Sagittarius: They’re best friend material; Lots and lots of friends but few close friends; Attractive/ Magnetic; You’re going to find yourself thinking about them later; Can go literally anywhere and fit in; Histrionic; Will not put up with your bullshit at all; They seem like an open book, but this is not the case at all; Take themselves a little too seriously; More loyal than you could ask for.

Capricorn: Sassy as hell; Sarcasm actually flows through their veins; You will admire them; Always seemingly stable; They have the soundest advice; Tend to think they’re always right, and they aren’t exactly wrong about that; If they love you, it’s true; Good listeners and friends; Grouchy is their default emotion; Lowkey SUPER competitive, just let them win because they will literally never let it go ever.

Aquarius: You will fall in love with them, even if it doesn’t last; They’re going to make you laugh; They try to be forgiving creatures; Lowkey super stubborn about things they believe to be right; Really, really good at one area of expertise; Detail oriented; Highly sexual beings; They downplay their emotions; It’s hard to completely understand what they’re thinking about unless they explicitly tell you; Trust their gut because they’re going to be right.

Pisces: Hug them, please, they’ll really appreciate it; They’re probably going to fall in love with you, too; Trusting and trustworthy; Watch what you say around them because they’re very sensitive; Encourage them to trust their intuition more; They’ll be able to understand your feelings more deeply than any of the other signs; Insecure but so, so, so worthy; Would die for you; Sneaky; Need a favor? Call this babe.

so many of the war table missions should have been the actual “side” quests in the goddamn game instead of the fucking hunt and fetch quests that were literally meaningless and ate up hours of time for no reason :)))))))))))))))))))))

like varric’s copycat author mission? Zevran and the Crows? political intrigue and assassinations???????????? Maevaris and Tevinter???????????

where were the missions that actually mattered at fucking all in the fucking game omg 

the war table reeks of “ooooh, i wish we could have had time to include that” and the actual game suffers immensely for it.

bc like, i’m sorry, three or four “actual” quests with cutscenes and dialogue and stuff that is interesting and feels like you’re making choices and playing a role-playing game is not enough

the side missions are just WoW gather quests. you don’t make decisions that affect the fucking game. the game will be the same no matter what you do or don’t do in the majority of those cases.

REMEMBER the fucking preview with Varric and the burning town? THAT was what I was expecting. We were supposed to be making decisions about where to send our soldiers, what to protect, what to emphasize. We were supposed to be affecting the world with our decisions. People were supposed to care what we were doing, and we were supposed to see the effects of it firsthand. 

and instead, a TON of really meaty, interesting choices and character interactions are hidden behind blocks of text and HOURS of waiting, so that they feel meaningless and distant and completely ineffectual? the only reason I’m even SEEING some of them now is because I installed a mod that turns off the wait time. Today was literally the first time I’ve ever seen Zevran’s interaction, bc i didn’t have the patience for the war table and none of it really felt important at all.

even though the words say stuff happened, i don’t feel like anything changed. nothing makes that real to me. God, the Dalish Inquisitor’s whole clan can die, and it would just be a fucking note in a codex entry somewhere. 

this is absurd. this game is a fucking joke. it’s weak ideas and weaker plot held together by a weak string of unrelated missions that don’t connect at all, leading up to a weak villain and a weak end fight.

they had ideas that would make the game feel real, layered, complete. and then they banished them into a meaningless series of text posts that people barely read before clicking on their favorite adviser.

???????

?????????????