the signs as monster factory quotes :-)

aries: what’s the deal with me being extinct?

taurus: oh uh uh oh! uh! uh oh! oops! oh no! uh oh! uh oh! uh oh! oh no! oops! oops a daisy!

gemini: right now i’m “kissing the frog.” that’s what i call hacking the matrix

cancer: fuck, fuck, aw shit i quoted seinfeld

leo: how underrepresented are furries in fighting games?

virgo: you’ve got infinite babies… you’ve got an axe that can kill god… the dopest dress… a fucking great look

libra: she is both the metric by which the world will be judged, and the judge, and the executioner

vriska: strength 10, luck 10, and the other two points we can just throw right away

sagittarius: please move i’m so wet. i’m so sweaty and wet

capriclown: here is where you do your dark deeds in your flesh church

aquarius: i think weapons are really just accessories

pisces: this is some lovecraft shit in an infinite ocean

why does everyone want to fuck the junk man from overwatch he looks like badly contoured heat miser I’m Afraid

thats………..so succinct and glaringly obvious that I’m almost ashamed i had to ask

he’s a twink

Junkrat is not a twink!

he’s a twink

overwatch civil war

Gogol was like “I could be into Snoke as a character like only if the First Order goes bankrupt and he has to go on a shitty road trip with everyone” and then we were just. Like. Yes. The Worst……… 

“kylo ren is always like NO NO I’M FINE when Snoke asks if anyone has to pee but as soon as they pass the rest stop he’s like WAIT ACTUALLY”

“no one can agree on what fast food joint to stop at” “holy shit I bet general hux is like a vegan” “GENERAL HUX IS ONE OF THOSE HORRIBLE PALEO PEOPLE” “PHASMA KEEPS OFFERING HIM HER FRENCH FRIES AND ASSURING HIM THAT ‘THEY’RE REALLY OLD’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE” “i bet phasma is one of those ppl who dips her fries in mayonnaise and kylo ren hates this but HE is one of those people who dips HIS fries in fuckin MILKSHAKES and they are just sitting across from each other silently glaring”

“the only song supreme leader snoke will let anyone play is ‘tiny dancer’”

“they have assigned general hux to read the map under the assumption that he is a Map Person but in fact he cannot read maps at all but he is not willing to admit this and neither is anyone else”

“kylo ren has to charge his lightsaber using some kind of byzantine automobile cigarette lighter plug in device”

phasma smokes cigarettes in the car space car whatever. kylo and hux complain about it endlessly, but neither of them can stop her. especially because snoke is a noseless hologram and doesn’t give a shit

kylo tries to make them stop at DinoLand, throws a tantrum over it

Leia is the one who loses a hand, to which Luke responds, “haha Leia we’re twins” and Leia punches him hard with her new robo hand

a big difference i’ve noticed between myself and my parents (and i think it’s definitely a generational thing in general) is like when we’re at a public place and something goes wrong i’ll keep my frustration internalized while my parents always vocalize it. like i was just at target with my mom and we couldn’t use a coupon for some reasons and my mom starts going off like “they need to make it more clear when and on what products this can be used for” yada yada yada and i’m just standing there like… it’s not that serious let it go madre life goes on