i been thinking about #dysphoria recently and whether or not i feel it bc its not like this really overwhelming feeling right, and most of the time im like. ok with my body. but its not like this accepting kind of “ok” its more like “ugh fine i guess” and only rarely do i feel like i actually like it. most of the time its like “i dont want to be here but i also dont know where else i’d be”

i think i am mostly just upset that my body cant be whatever i want it to be at any given moment. if my gender is nothing/everything, then so should my body be. im mad that i can’t be an irl shapeshifter.