ninjasona story i guess. subject to change

kind of an avg kid who didnt know what to do with their life so just kind of went with what everyone else was doing (ninjaing) and because it looked cool. i want to beat people up with a sword, they thought. that sounds cool. their parents are civilians and theyre kind of worried about their oldest doing something so dangerous, but they dont stop them from doing it. (eventually, after a while, theyre proud.)

in the academy theyre really quiet and kind of high strung, and VERY worried about their performance. theyre not that great at taijutsu, theyre ok with remembering hand seals and the written bits because thats the only thing that comes easy to them, and ninjutsu is kind of touch and go for a while. theyre kind of surprised they graduated, to be honest. they dont think they deserve it for a long time.

the self loathing takes its toll in the form of extreme lethargy and gets the whole team frustrated with them, which only feeds into the self loathing and makes it worse, bc they LIKE these people, they dont want to let them down, they shouldve gotten a better teammate, they shouldnt have graduated, etc. so they start training in taijutsu bc it takes their mind off of everything and things get a little better w the team. their jounin teacher tries to work with them on ninjutsu/genjutsu but they just kind of half-ass it, so they stop training that as much. by the time of the chuunin exams theyre like 15/16 and they only know basic jutsu and one personal one (using the sword to make a lot of wind chakra powered cuts, like a localized hurricane of daggers) which is useful. they dont even really feel like taking the exam, its hard for them to even gauge their own ability bc theyre constantly comparing themself to others, but they also dont want to let their team down, so they go. 

so during the exam their team is like, kind of avg? they get beat pretty badly by some other teams, which makes ninjasona ANGRY, with the other teams and with themselves, like how dare they hurt my team?? how dare i let them??? and that anger wakes them up, for the first time in a long time they actually feel alive, their team is like ??? what happened to you?? and they just smile and say something vague, which is even weirder because when have they ever smiled, basically never

(i dont know how the exams go exactly but a lot of Stuff happens to ninjasona and they start to get comfortable with what they can do and becoming more confident with it. theres still a lot of self doubting and second guessing but they can work through it now, mostly by ignoring it. they pass, along with a few others)

afterwards though they hit another lull, they stay chuunin for literally years (theyre in their early 20s at present) and a lot of other ninja are like, youre probably good enough to be a jounin, why not take the exam, but they brush it off like, i dont need to work THAT hard, ha ha, but inside theyre just nervous about their strength again, like what if they DONT pass?? thats scary. 

im not sure what happens next, i think they do make jounin eventually, maybe they see their friends (who are jounin) get hurt/hospitalized, and realize they want to be there to help protect them, idk. shounen stuff. (if they ever do make jounin though, their #1 worry is if theyll get assigned a genin team. ILL MESS THEM UP, they think. THEYLL GET BEAT SO BADLY IN THE CHUUNIN EXAMS. THANH IS GOING TO HAVE TO FAIL ALL OF THEM.)