meowwounce replied to your post “do you think the term queerplatonic is problematic?”

I’ve seen people arguing that qp is problematic because het ppl can use it an appropriate queerness. your thoughts?

dont reb/log please (a lot of rambling thoughts and use of the q-word)

im not an expert on any of this so dont quote me on it, these are just my thoughts

• i dont think cishet ppl should be using anything with the word queer in it personally at all
• im not really familiar with the politics regarding the word queer as a slur/reclaimed slur so i cant really say anything on that? i do live in a city where its not normally used as a slur so thats my perspective on it, but i know thats not the case everywhere
• i did some googling and it seems like the main issue is that people didnt know what qprs entail and certain events occurred where ppl started to think that people involved in qpr s arent queer? that the very concept of a qpr isnt queer? bc i disagree with that and it…….. isnt true
• so maybe i dont know exactly whats being appropriated here? is it the word queer or is it the relationship itself? is it that by using the term qp, non-queer ppl are invalidating the idea that a qpr is separate from friendships and romantic relationships?
• so i dont really know. idk if non-aro people can have and be satisfied with this kind of relationship, but im guessing maybe they can? its just that this kind of relationship feels like it exists specifically for me, as an aro person, and the fact that non-het/alloro ppl can use it to describe their own relationships feels a little …….. weird to me.
• maybe the problem is that not a lot of people even understand what a qpr is, because its really a very open definition i think. and since its so varied i think if you arent queer yourself, you shouldnt use the term qp to describe your part in the relationship because your privilege can really muddy things