this site is genuinely breathtaking sometimes

When I was in second grade I became mildly obsessed with handwriting analysis. After reading a couple of books on graphology, I started to feel skeptical about divining a stranger's potential to be a serial killer from the way they wrote their lowercase d. But this was several years before Google, and our encyclopedia didn't have anything in it about graphology, so I figured I'd have to put my studies into practice if I wanted to find out whether it was a real thing.

I decided the best way to do this was to intentionally make my handwriting as Evil as possible. My current handwriting apparently showed that I was outgoing (large print) and emotional (looping cursive and a rightward slant), and didn't have any of the classic hallmarks of Serial Killer Handwriting, like pointed letters or irregular size and capitalization. I would have to adopt a lot of different habits if I wanted my letters to convey that I was capable of murder.

My theory was that if I succeeded in drastically changing the way I wrote, either anybody could have very Evil Looking handwriting if they felt like it, thereby making graphology meaningless, or the physical act of writing in an Evil way would influence my thoughts and I would notice myself taking on the traits exemplified by my new penmanship (physical aggression, untrustworthiness, antisocial behavior).

I don't actually remember what I concluded after changing my handwriting, but this is what I think about whenever someone tells me I write my D's, E's, and Y's weird.

New theory: graphology is fake because my original, unaltered handwriting didn't accurately represent my naturally evil tendencies.

thinking..

finished thinking and have decided it’s simply all too much

No such thing as a tomato sauce boat. No such thing as a salad dressing boat. But I guess if you’re gravy you get ~SpEcIaL nAuTiCaL pRiViLeGeS~

I mean, marinara, it’s right there in the name. Who is more deserving, I ask you?

…you know you can put any sauce you want in your own gravy boat, OP? You know that, right?

Well yeah. You can put lemonade in it if you want to. Or use it as a spittoon. Or a paperweight. Whatever.

But when you’re not using it? When you have cleaned it and put it back in the cupboard? What is it then? That’s right. It reverts to being a gravy boat. Because that’s what it’s, as they say, “for.”

And when you take it out again and fill it with, idk, salsa verde, what will people say? They’ll say, “Oh, that’s a good use for a gravy boat.” No one ever says “how clever of you to use a salsa boat to serve gravy.” Because the boat defaults to gravy. That is the problem.

If I go to the store and ask for a raita boat, I get funny looks. If I ask for a gravy boat, they know exactly what I’m talking about. Fair? No. Fact? Yes.

Can you see that this is about what is a marked use and what is an unmarked use? Can you see that, friend orbisonblue? That this is not just about what I, personally, can do with my tableware, but what our society considers to be “normal’ sauce-serving practice, and what is “abnormal”? Can you?

Archaeologists determining if mundane objects are also ritual objects 

in 2020 the only acceptable keysmashes will be comprised of ATCG base pairs so you can print them at home and see if they come to life

you: THIS IS SO FUNNY CGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCGCGATATCGATATATCGCGATCGATCG

me, opening up CRISPR Go: fascinating