I hate it when people ask “do you trust me” like …don’t call me out like that ……..the answer is no
fucking around for three days and then making a herculean effort on day four that restores your average progress to what a moderately inept person would have achieved with consistent effort, that’s what it’s all about.
me: *walking*
my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun
me: okay sir yes sir
me: *walking*
my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun
me: okay sir yes sir
my cat Meatball’s hanukkah sweater started kinda coming off, so my girlfriend went to fix it, and as she did so she said to him, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”
Nothing is funnier to me than ppl with rly wild jobs still just being people and having long tired mornings like everyone else. Just heard a doctor in the lab say “I have to go do some cloning” with the same level of enthusiasm I use to say I’m gonna do the dishes.
i go to the doctor and they tell me my Problems Disorder has progressed into stage 4 Symptoms Disease
“I heard my wife knock on the bathroom door, but then I remembered…. our bathroom doesn’t have a door”
I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.
