the most unrealistic fanfic trope, imo, is the one where one half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer bc I have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

enemies to lovers, 40k

"Hey so it turns out that the people of earth accidentally did a global experiment to see if every individual could course correct climate change through mass personal change of habits, and it turns out, no! We can't! It was massive corporate activity all along!"

spent all yesterday creating moss to add to my stone paths

i like that the paths show up on the map, match my bridges, and i won't accidentally pick them up. but now they are just a little more natural.

regular size dogs, the standard by which all variant dogs are compared to, the vanilla dog, are dogs. they often produce slimes and cause ruckus. i actually find dogs in general harder to get close to than cats? dogs are weird men who cant read and crawl on the ground. dirty boys who can be troublesome. they are utilitarian animals who like to help and be good though and are very admirable in nature. they come in lots of fun customizations and you can add cosmetic items to your dog for flavor, or go au naturel. i have great respect for these fucked up men of the dirt as should all people

small dogs are a point of much contention as they are often heinously fucked on a biological level. ive never been all that affectionate towards them because in my mind one of the best parts of dogs is their bigness, however, when i spend some time with a small dog i usually wind up thinking “okay i understand why people like these so much.” some good points of small dogs is that theyre very portable and, in general, small. theyre very dumb and rowdy like all dogs but with a smallness twist and often i think that they are gremlins or perhaps a small demon like a imp. they are naughty men but they certainly have a purpose

bighuge dogs are a very special type of dog indeed. they are so so so so huge and large and big. i respect strongness and hugeness very much on a personal moral level. there are a few downsides to a dog so huge, they are a great and sacred responsibility. if this big huge man wants to cause trouble and mischief you may not be able to stop them because they are, and i cannot overstate this, so much a big boy. but their legs are so mighty and their form is so Good. this is a dog for the dedicated but in my opinion very worth it. you must earn this good dog

***BONUS*** longdogs, these strange long men are most certainly fae in nature, we all know this. they function in mysteries and riddles. this dog is built for speed and dexterity and is a good template for those who want to go the spellcaster route. ive heard tales from people who say that theyve lived in areas where most people have retired racing greyhounds and that there were just insanely fucked up jacked just totally diesel greyhounds all over the place and i think that would be scary as hell. this is a dog whose power youve got to acknowledge

in conlusion: i started typing this and just didnt stop. i cant explain my poetry often. dogs are dirty rowdy lads and id like to gain a deeper understanding of them. we have to do right by them because theyre very important and they trust us. thank you

…They did what… to you?
No.
I will make them pay.
You’re fucking mine. And nobody, nobody, lays a goddamn finger on you.

Me when I get my car back from the mechanics and the adjustment on my seat is all wrong

This is the funniest fucking addition

theres an official playlist on spotify called "Beats to think to" and it has the funniest fucking icon

[picture of french people installing a guillotine near the Louvre in Paris for Wokers' Day 2020]