This is a pretty decent chance to make a post I’ve been intending to make for a long time about the term “shota”. This is a term that I have used in the past to classify my art, specifically of softer male individuals. I initially began using the term mainly due to my disdain for the term “twink”, which would have been a much better fit for what I wanted to convey. It sounded much cuter, softer, less peppy. I have recently been made aware of some significant reasons to immediately cease use of that term.

I’m friends with the person who made the Teen Wolf callout post and the information they conveyed to me served as a major wake-up call. Not only did these people who fetishize and engage in real life relationships with minors use the term “jailbait”, they also used the term “shota” in real-life, relating to irl #pedophilia and #child abuse.

This shocked me in a way I’ve never felt before. The thought that, by using that term so casually, I was in part encouraging a culture that tacitly approved of pedophilia, was horrifying to me. I had questioned it before, quietly, in my own mind and gently pushed the thought away. There was no way that my innocent use could POSSIBLY be tied to real life child abuse.

But I was wrong. When I was informed that actual child abusers used that term in the course of their ACTUAL abuse, things became very real to me. There ARE people out there who are committing actual abuse of minors, people in fandoms, people on tumblr, who might have seen me using that term and considered me a peer. Looking around the internet and seeing others using a term that they used to mask and minimize their actual abuse, feeling assured that others must feel the same way and just don’t talk about it.

I feel a lot of shame for going so long without thinking critically about it, despite being given several chances to do so. I was so assured of my immunity, of my morality, that I neglected to consider how it must feel to people who have suffered childhood sexual abuse to watch as a term describing that very act became commonplace, inescapable in a place that should feel safe. I neglected to consider any other possible word to describe what I wanted to convey without encouraging that culture. I was so sure I was harmless, and I was very wrong.

I want to take this chance to sincerely apologize to anyone who I may have alienated or made to feel unsafe. I’m sorry to people who have continued to follow me despite discomfort, bearing my usage silently. I’m sorry to the teens and minors out there for whom I have helped the internet just a tiny bit less safe, minors who are now subject to yet another word used to mask the reality and dangers of sexual abuse. In a way, I contributed to the acceptance of a word that is now just another word in the arsenal of child abusers, another harmless cute term that they can use to groom minors into trusting them. I refused to see this word for the weapon that it is, and in doing so I helped a community hand that weapon to the hidden and dangerous among us.

I have stopped using that term completely and have also removed any usage of it that I could find from my posts and artwork. I refuse to participate in this culture any longer, and I refuse to shy away from the very real damage I have thoughtlessly caused. I’m sorry, and I hope that by seeing this other people will rethink their usage of this term and reevaluate their real proximity to potential abusers. I’ve taken some time to expand on my own experiences because I don’t want other people to consider this as alien to themselves and their usage as I once did. I can only speak from my experience and I hope that by making my previous thoughts clear that other people will identify with this and distance themselves from “harmless words”