the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here. 

i really love @dril. 

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

Get ummm

the first ride.

ENDLESS ELECTRICITY: Here’s A Way Of Turning America’s Roads Into Gigantic Solar Panels

There are about 31,251 square miles of roads, parking lots, driveways, playgrounds, bike paths, and sidewalks in the lower 48 states. If Julie and Scott Brusaw have their way, they will all someday be replaced with solar panels.

For the better part of a decade, the Idaho couple has been working on prototyping an industrial-strength panel that could withstand the weight of even the largest trucks. They now appear to have cracked the formula, developing a specially textured glass coating for the panels that can not only bear tremendous loads but also support standard tire traction.

By their reckoning, at peak installation their panelized roads could produce more than three times the electricity consumed in the U.S.

The material could power electric vehicles through a receiver plate mounted beneath the vehicle and a transmitter plate is installed in the road.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLY IMPORTANT AND UNBELIEVABLY DISAPPOINTING THAT IT’S GOTTEN SUCH LITTLE ATTENTION.

PEOPLE THINK ABOUT IT, JUST HOW MANY ROADS THERE ARE ALL OVER THE WORLD AND HOW MUCH ENERGY COULD BE PRODUCED USING THESE LIKE SERIOUSLY “THREE TIMES THE ELECTRICITY CONSUMED IN THE U.S”. IT’S NOT JUST GOING TO HELP REDUCE THE AMOUNTS OF GREEN HOUSE EMISSIONS, IT’S GOING TO CREATE JOBS IN THE COUNTRIES IT’S USED IN. IT HAS SO MUCH EXTRA STUFF IT’S UNBELIEVABLE HOW AMAZING THE ROAD COULD BE. 

THESE PEOPLE ARE SAINTS, THEY’VE WORKED THEIR BUTTS OFF AND VOLUNTEERS HAVE WORKED JUST AS HARD TO GET TO THIS LEVEL BUT THEY STILL HAVE JUST UNDER $ 800,000 TO RAISE IN 15 DAYS. 

THIS SORTA STUFF IS HOW WE’RE GOING TO CREATE A GREENER EARTH AND IT’S BEEN VIRTUALLY IGNORED BY TUMBLR. WE NEED TO SUPPORT THIS STUFF AND THESE SORTS OF PEOPLE WHO SELFLESSLY DEDICATE THEIR WORK TO CREATING A BETTER WORLD. 

PLEASASASASASSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THIS. 

NOT TO MENTION if cars are designed to RUN on this we would no longer need to burn fuel

No more buying gas.  

The indiegogo page for this project is here! Boost and support if you can, this is tremendous!

gunna have to call bullshit on this

ive never seen anyone actually calculate just how many spiders spiders georg would have to eat per day in order to affect global spider eating statistics to the extent that he does

it adds so much to be able to envision exactly the speed at which he consumes them

i barely know what this pokemon looks like but I was too lazy to google anything

anyway I’m not dead or anything, i just won’t be posting as much. I’ve been very busy with uni & also applying for grad school this semester, so… u.u 

Tumblr Retags is a Chrome extension that does two things: it shows tags added to reblogs (in notes popovers and on your Activity page), and wraps all tag lists on your dashboard for easy readability.

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THIS WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVORITE VIDEO ON THIS WEBSITE

0507

I only have two pair of pants.