I was studying in my room, turned around to grab something and saw this.
So, basically, this is not my cat.
But she’s all like chillin’ in my bed like she pays rent or smth.
How the fuck did she even got into the freaking house.
Epic Naruto/Gintama Crossover Worldbuilding Part 2 of ??: Fuckin Geography, How does it work?
Putting Gintama characters into this universe doesn’t mean making them shinobi, or members of a specific village. An easy way out would be sorting them into villages Hogwarts-style, giving them different ninja proficiencies, but I’d rather figure out how to to make a really solid, sensical, almost-true-to-canon crossover. That means we need to somehow incorporate the concept of Kabuki-cho and Edo into the Narutoverse.
The problem? Narutoverse is based around a number of antagonistic nation-states ruled by feudal lords, each with a village populated by ninja. These villages - specifically, the ninja that inhabit these villages, because I’m sure the Ichiraku Ramen guy isn’t super involved in the defense of the Land of Fire - are ostensibly the primary defense system for their nation.
The ninja villages are (to some degree) self-governing. The daimyo is involved with appointing the Hokage, and it’s reasonable to assume that this system has been adopted by the other villages, because they are all modeled after Konoha. The daimyo, however, seems to be something of a rubber stamp, easily bullied by the most vocal members of the village’s administration. The daimyo’s un-involvement is not consequence-free: just as the village is not beholden to the nation’s government, the government is under no obligation to utilize their nation’s ninja village. Remember, the ninja villages are paid per mission. On occasion (as in the case of Asuma) members of the village will join the personal guard of the daimyo, but because literally every ninja mission from cat-wrangling to assassination is a paid job, that is likely nothing more than a prestigious employment opportunity. Remember, Asuma and Shikamaru both had the option to decline the offer. Asuma accepted, but Shikamaru didn’t and there weren’t any consequences.
The invasion of Konoha post-chuunin exams was really revealing. Suna, officially an ally of Konoha, was so destitute that the Kazekage (admittedly a totally shitty dude) felt he needed to start a fucking war to convince his daimyo to hire the Land of Wind’s own fucking village. Apparently (and this was presented as a shitty but entirely legal thing to do), the daimyo outsourced all missions to a smaller and less-expensive ninja village system.
This is basically the feudal system that was the norm pre-Joui war. However, Gintama is set post-Joui war, after the samurai all got memed on by shitty aliens. So how do we reconcile that?
Hey, remember the Land of Iron? The one that didn’t use shinobi? The one that didn’t have a hidden village? Remember how it was also called “The Land of Samurai”?
Huh. How about that.
There’s no canonical location for the Land of Iron. I’ve made some educated guesses, and we can assume it’s pretty tiny. It’s reasonable to guess that it borders whatever land Amegakure is in, because at one point Hanzo got sassy with the Samurai. It’s also reasonable to assume that it’s fairly central on the continent, that it’s a mountainous region, and that it doesn’t border any of the other five major powers, because otherwise it’d likely have been annexed at some point in their history.
I’ve made some edits to the canon map of Narutoverse’s weird fucked-up continent and marked where I think it would be with a gold star. It’s a mountainous area, hence the snow (and north of Konoha, and far from the ocean, so it’d be much less temperate). It’s equidistant from Suna, Kumo, and Iwa, which makes it a decent spot for the Kage summit. And it borders Amegakure and Ishigakure, and those aren’t major military powers, which helps Land of Iron maintain its neutral position.
Why does this location matter? Because it makes sense for the Joui war.
I think that instead of Edo, the Amanto would have invaded Amegakure. Hanzo would probably be ok with them. Ame’s always been a valuable trade center, which is why all the major powers are fighting over it. It’s also Technology City in Narutoverse, and kind of visually echoes the buildings in the Gintamaverse.
Once in Ame, the Amanto started looking west, to the Land of Iron, and eventually crossed the borders. This brought the Lands of Fire, Lightning and Wind into the war, because Iron’s neutrality is pretty sacrosanct.
So in the Gintama/Naruto crossover, the Joui war is fused with the Third Shinobi World War. Both occurred more than ten years before the start of their respective manga. It’s a stretch, but it works.
Next time: the consequences of the war!
you call me up in the middle of the night complaining about being scared of the rocks in your backyard and I will come over right away and punch them for you. consider it a perk of my friendship
LGBTQ DEITY MASTERPOST
Loki is the master of the non-binary.
• This may be just be my UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis) but Loki is preeeeeetty genderfluid. That, or he doesn’t give a shit and laughs at gender norms. And sex norms, for that matter. He’s also sexfluid. He’s a mother and a father. He’s chaos. He does not let any boundary define or hold him. He can be destructive, but the chaos can be creative, too. After all, Mjollnir only exists through his antics! He doesn’t even conform to the gender norms in his name- He takes his last name from his MOTHER, Laufey. Not his Father, Farbauti.Chinese Mythology is rife with LGBTQ and Non-Binaries
• Fun fact: Chinese mythology is rich in homosexuality. Same-sex love was believed to have originated in the south, so homosexuality was sometimes called “the southern wind”. Lots of spirits and deities were associated with homosexuality, bisexuality and transgenderism. These include Shou Wang, Shan Gu, Gun, and Yu the Great.Chinese mythology is also rich in gay animal spirits and faries. Most of them like young men or boys, but there is one exception. Dragons like their men to be older.
Mizi Xia and the Duke Ling of Wei were gay, as were Lord Long Yang and an unnamed king of Wei.
INTERSEX GODS:
Hermaphoditus
• The son of Aphrodite and Hermes. He was born as a very handsome boy and then transformed into an androgynous being. He has a female figure and male genitals.Ardhanarishvara
• The androgynous form of the Hindu god Shiva and his consort Pavarti. They are half male and half female, split right down the middle. The right is male and the left is female.Hapi
• Egyptian God of the Nile, he has breasts and a belly resembling a pregnant woman’s.GENDERFLUID:
Guan Yin
• In Japanese, they are called Kannon. In Korean, they’re called Gwan-Eum. They have both male and female forms. They may be also considered agender.Nu
• Egyptian Deification of the primal waters, can be depicted as male or female. Nunet is her female name and Nun is his male name.Shai
• Egyptian deification of fate. Shai is depicted as both male and female at different occasions.
b>AGENDER:Eros (cupid)
• He appears as androgynous, god of love. His blood is female, and his masculinity is a form of fire and light. He has charm over all creatures and gender.Ta’aroa
• The androgynous creator god of Polynesia.Lan Caihe
• One of the Eight Immortals in Chinese mythology, their age and sex are unknown. They wear sexually ambiguous clothing, but are sometimes shown as weither a young boy or a young girl holding a bamboo basket. They are the patron of minstrels, and in another story their song is prophecy. They also wear only one shoe. Like ALL other Chinese immortals, they have an eternal drunken stupor and left the world on the back of a swan or a crane one day after they were in a tavern and said they had to go to the bathroom. Before leaving, they stripped naked, of course.Atum
• Another Egyptian creator god, he created himself. He created himself out of Nun, or the waters of chaos, and brought the gods and cosmos into being.Ometeotl
• Aztec god of duality, creator of Cemanahuatl. Her female aspect is called Omecihuatl.
HOMOSEXUAL:Greek Gods. Lots and lots of Greek Gods. Some of them also have relations with females, but here’s a list of homosexual acts the Greek Gods do.
• Achilles and Patroclus
Achilles and Troilus
Agamemnon and Argynnus
Agathaidas and Phalanthus
Ameinias and Narcissus
Apollo and Hyacinth
Apollo and Hymenaios
Chrysippus and Laius
Daphnis and Pan
Dionysus and Ampelus
Dionysus and Prosymnus
Euryalus and Nisus
Heracles and Abderus
Heracles and Hylas
Heracles and Iolaus[16]
Hermes and Krokus
Ianthe and Iphis[20]
Poseidon and Pelops
Polyeidos and Glaucus
Orpheus and the Thracians
Orpheus and Kalais
Apollo/Silvanus and Cyparissus
Zeus (Artemis) and Callisto
Zeus and GanymedeAprodite
• Fun fact, the Greek Goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and procreation is also the Goddess of lesbians.Frey
• Although Frey himself isn’t gay, this Norse God of Fertility was worshipped by a cult of homosexuals and effeminate priests. I think that’s awesome enough for a place on this list.Xochipilli
• Aztec God of games, beauty, dance, flowers, song, and homosexuals.
You’re welcome.Shinto Religion
• Homosexuality is said to be brought to humans by two of Amaterasu’s servants named Sinu No Hafuri and Ama No Hafuri.
Thank you.
It is said when Shinu died, Ama committed suicide, and they were buried together.Tu Er Shen
• “Rabbit Deity” in Chinese. He is the protector of gay lovers. He was originally a man named Wu Tien Bao who fell in love with an imperial official. When he declared his love, the official beat him to death. Because his crime was love, the Chinese Underworld officials righted this injustice by making him GOD AND PROTECTOR OF ALL GAYS.BISEXUAL:
Cuchilainn and Ferdiah• These two foster brothers/best friends/lovers were forced to fight one another. Ferdiah says they shared their bed, and after the first day of conflict, they were found kissing. Also on the third day, Cuchilainn pierced Ferdiah in the anus with a spear since his horny skin can’t be pierced. Literally, unfortunately, that wasn’t a euphemism. He died.
Zeus
• Ah, Zeus. King of the Greek Gods that can’t keep it in his pants swings all ways. He had sex with women, women as animals, heroic men and gorgeous young boys. Good ol’ Zeus. Ten for you, Zeus.
GODS BREAKING GENDER NORMS:
Odin
• Odin, the Allfather and King of all Nordic Gods took part in magic known as Seidr. Both genders could practice the Seidr, but it was mostly a female art. It was a social taboo and seen as a woman’s job. It also may have been a form of sex magic, with imitation penises involved.
- Sakura: Finally! War is over! No more man behind the man! I'm going to take the longest shower ever and then nap for days I'm so tired of this wa...
- Sasuke: I'm gonna kill people.
- Sakura: FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Sakura: Finally! War is over! No more man behind the man! I'm going to take the longest shower ever and then nap for days I'm so tired of this wa... Sasuke: I'm gonna kill people. Sakura: FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Paloma Noyola: The Face of Mexico’s Unleashed Potential
When a report emerged in September 2012 that a girl from one of Matamoros’ poorest neighborhoods had attained the highest math score in Mexico, some doubted its veracity. It must be fake, they said.
But it wasn’t fake. Her name is Paloma Noyola, and what most reports failed to mention is that almost all of her classmates also scored very high on the national math test. 10 scored in the 99.99% percentile.
Paloma and her classmates also scored in the top percentile in language. Something special was happening at José Urbina López primary school in Matamoros, and Wired went to take a look.
The high test scores turned out to be the work of a young teacher who also came from humble beginnings. Sergio Juárez Correa was tired of the monotony of teaching out of a book and wanted to try something new to help engage his students when he came across the work of Sugata Mitra, a UK university professor who had innovated a new pedagogy he called SOLE, or self organized learning environments. The new approach paid off.
Although SOLE usually relies on unfettered Internet access for research, Juárez and his students had very limited access. Somehow, he still found a way to apply Mitra’s teachings and unleash their potential.
From the beginning, Paloma’s exceptional abilities were evident:
One day Juárez Correa went to his whiteboard and wrote “1 = 1.00.” Normally, at this point, he would start explaining the concept of fractions and decimals. Instead he just wrote “½ = ?” and “¼ = ?”
“Think about that for a second,” he said, and walked out of the room.
While the kids murmured, Juárez went to the school cafeteria, where children could buy breakfast and lunch for small change. He borrowed about 10 pesos in coins, worth about 75 cents, and walked back to his classroom, where he distributed a peso’s worth of coins to each table. He noticed that Paloma had already written .50 and .25 on a piece of paper.
As Mr. Juárez implemented more of Mitra’s teachings in his classroom, Paloma continued to stand out as an exceptionally gifted student:
Juárez Correa was impressed. But he was even more intrigued by Paloma. During these experiments, he noticed that she almost always came up with the answer immediately. Sometimes she explained things to her tablemates, other times she kept the answer to herself. Nobody had told him that she had an unusual gift. Yet even when he gave the class difficult questions, she quickly jotted down the answers. To test her limits, he challenged the class with a problem he was sure would stump her. He told the story of Carl Friedrich Gauss, the famous German mathematician, who was born in 1777.
When Gauss was a schoolboy, one of his teachers asked the class to add up every number between 1 and 100. It was supposed to take an hour, but Gauss had the answer almost instantly.
“Does anyone know how he did this?” Juárez Correa asked.
A few students started trying to add up the numbers and soon realized it would take a long time. Paloma, working with her group, carefully wrote out a few sequences and looked at them for a moment. Then she raised her hand.
“The answer is 5,050,” she said. “There are 50 pairs of 101.”
Juárez Correa felt a chill. He’d never encountered a student with so much innate ability. He squatted next to her and asked why she hadn’t expressed much interest in math in the past, since she was clearly good at it.
“Because no one made it this interesting,” she said.
Although this Wired piece focuses mostly on Sugata Mitra, it does once again highlight the story of Paloma Noyola. Unfortunately, after a brief spurt of media attention, little on Paloma was ever mentioned and, as was pointed out by Wired, nothing was ever said of Mr. Juárez.
As with most stories in the Mexican press — and those popular with the middle-class — things suddenly become very important once it’s featured in a gringo publication. Which is a very sad commentary. We hope, however, that this story pushes those in the press, state and federal government to look not to the United States for validation but to Mexicans like Sergio Juárez doing good work in places like Matamoros.
The clear message in this story is that there are thousands of Paloma Noyolas going to school in Mexico who, just like her at one time, are not being challenged and therefore aren’t very interested in school. This story can, if we want it to, raise enough awareness to shift the discussion from poverty to opportunity.
Paloma truly personifies both Mexico’s challenges and unleashed potential.
Read the entire Wired story here: How a Radical New Teaching Method Could Unleash a Generation of Geniuses
Editor’s note: As an addendum, Wired provided information on helping support Sugata Mitra and his School in the Clouds project, and although they donated school supplies and equipment to José Urbina López School, we’re interested in seeing if we can help set up a similar fund for Sergio Juárez, the teacher featured in this story.
Also, $9,300 was raised to help fund Paloma’s education last year. We’re going to follow up with the economist who led the fundraising campaign to see how she’s doing. Stay tuned for the updates.
so in my new apartment there’s a random hole in the wall, just big enough for a drake bell shrine
