My grandma trying to be my friend and sent me a text saying “you going to comic con? The guy from games is going to be there.”
modern au sasuke would drop out of highschool and hoard guns but modern au sakura would have a PhD at 22 and also hoard guns. modern au naruto is normal and works at a ramen shop. hes going to community college and he gives the dumbest most godawful opinions in class
modern au kakashi is one of those guys who runs an anti-military podcast while enlisted and doesnt seem to experience any cognitive dissonance about this
yamato works a very banal 9-5 as a customer service representative at office depot or some shit. he has a degree in business management and a 401k. sai is the only one who is out and comfortable being gay and he's arguably the most successful. he's just had his first gallery showing and made a respectable profit and can infuriatingly afford to live in a genuinely nice loft in his early twenties
ino has an MFT license and hates sakuras guts so so so bad because she has a doctorate before her. they date and break up loudly every three months and they're both involved in the most toxic insane dyke drama possible with half the local wlw dating pool. tsunade is a tabloid it girl and the tumblrinas both love and hate her with burning passion because on one hand shes an old money socialite trust fund baby and on the other hand shes a woman in her fifties wearing a full suit of louis vuitton who openly smokes weed at the louvre and throws rocks at paparazzi
hinata is yet another trust fund baby who isn't really in the limelight but has a tiny dedicated fanbase of ig girlies and tumblrinas because shes just fucking strange. she wears $500 sherpa hoodies and has perfected the straight brow natural makeup look but all her posts are captioned like bugeater1101's tiktoks if bugeater1101 also had the energy of the girl that threw dead birds at her crush's window. she has a degree in forensic anthropology and an extensive collection of human bones with dubious origins. she's due for a callout any day now
shikamaru is a professional competitive chess player who's globally ranked not because he's passionate about it but because he couldnt be arsed to get a real job. his dad yelled at him nearly every week of his senior year in highschool to actually apply to a college but he still didn't and his parents threatened to not support him if he didn't make something of himself so he just spent 17-19 making money through card counting at poker. sometimes he shows up in the background of ino's ig lives but all of ino's followers are hot girls and generally don't know or give a shit about some gloomy nerd with no hairline to speak of. weirdly he is a somewhat active lgbt ally
choji has a cooking youtube channel full of delicious food and muscular arms and he's something of a budding darling of the foodie world. ino is pressuring him to get on tiktok because she thinks his food+outfits+look would do numbers but the only person he knows on tiktok is hinata and hinata's a little bit scary. sai has a massive massive boner for him and has tweeted multiple times that choji is zaddy but choji isn't on twitter and anyway doesn't know what zaddy means
The oldest profession is find berry. The second oldest profession is kill that guy with a rock and take his berries
One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well I’m Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. I’m Greek.
One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I’m not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said “oh no I’m Brazilian hahah” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, “I’m Brazilian too”
When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasn’t great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasn’t great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadn’t studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. I’m sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.
Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China. One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot. The problem was that he didn’t speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English.
They all, however, spoke Spanish.
Reminder that this was so iconic that when Dragonball FighterZ released, one of Krillin’s moves is just “overhand chuck a rock” and it’s one of his best moves for hitting the opponent on their wakeup
synths and mixers are so tactile its obscene like its actually obscene all thosd ports and knobs and sliders and buttons and wiressorry sprry i am ssso hard right now sorry what was i saying
grimes and elon musk’s breakup is going to be a fucking cataclysmic event imagine the twitter drama….it will be incredible. i cant wait
my sister works in a restaurant and has taken to saying "do you think that's normal?" every time someone says something rude or is borderline harrassing her. fully doesn't engage except for telling them to Reflect. Look Inward. i'm obsessed with her.
